Confessions of a laughy man
by ive-gone-all-jelliod
Summary: Set after SITNOP but in Dave the laughs point of view. Yes its Dave's diary. Very Gee Dave ofcourse. So please R&R u no u want to x Chapter 9 finally up now!
1. No more mr nice Dave!

**Hello Chummetes, this is my second fic for this site and it's a bit different because it's set in Dave's point of view. Ok its set straight after SITNOP, please R&R because I have absolutely no idea if you're going to like it or not. Okay enough from me enjoy, (I hope) Becky xx**

11:00Pm

Walking home. The fisticuffs are over and now I expect Gee is off snogging the lesbian somewhere. I just hope his handbag doesn't get in the way. Idiot! What a night it's only 11 and I'm going home my parents will have a fit if I'm home this early. I'll just head back to the club, Tom's probably there he can talk to me about moss or something.

2 minutes later.

I can here crying. Oh giddy god its Gee. And being me I will have to do something.

"Kittycat?" I say "Are you alrightio?" Alrightio? God I was turning into the practising homosexual.

"Oh hi Dave yes I'm as right as to err righty things in righty land."

"So you're not alright then." She shook her head. I bent down and hugged her, she is it has to be said vair pretty even when she's crying.

"Come on kittycat lets get you home." I said and helped her get up. She put her arm round my waist and hobbled along with me.

"Dave?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think of Masimo? Tell the truth." What do I think of Masimo I think he's a prize prune for being with Georgia. Not that I care because I have a girlfriend Emma who's you know quite nice.

"He's alright for a lesbian I suppose." Gee sighed,

"Dave he's not a lesbian." Yeah and the popes not a vicar. Hang on wait is the pope a vicar? I don't even know. But what I do know is Masimo is a lesbian. Georgia isn't crying so much now infact I think she might be smiling but its dark and I can't really go vair close up to her face to look because 1)It would be vair strange and 2)I'd probably end up snogging her.

12:00pm

In my bed. I am sleeping on a shoe but I cannot be bothered to move it because none of my bones are working. When I left Gee she was still all miz and I was just looking at her and then I accidently put my mouth on her hers and nibbled her lip for at least 5 minutes.

Why do I always end up snogging Georgia? I have a girlfriend I should be happy with her I mean she's quite pretty and oh what the hell I'm just going to dump her. It is the only way. But what can I say to her. You're dumped cos I like someone else? Its not you its Gee? Ha-ha that was a good one Dave. I 

make myself laugh sometimes. Well I'm going to dump her and that's that I have made up my mind and I will be sticking to it.

11:30Am, dumping day.

God it's early! Crap it's a school day and I'm 2 hours late! Why did no-one wake me? Do my parents even know I'm here?

One minute later

Okay uniform on. Where's my tie? Oh sod it! I run downstairs to find my mutti sitting at the table.

"Mutti! Why didn't you wake me?"

"Dave! I tried, Six times! You sleep like a log."I sighed and ran out of the door with a piece of toast.

Oh no! I can see Mr Gay dayvies in the playground. Okay Dave just slowly walk past...

"Dave Reynolds! Come here right now!"

"Hi sir" I put on a fake voice.

"Why are you so incredibly..."

"Good looking?"

"No! Late?"

"Aagh well you see I went to the dentist."He nodded and let me past. I didn't know it was that easy to skip school. Wow I'll be having a few more lie in's from now on.

French

Bla bla bla bonjour. What a fruitful language French is. Not. Monsieur Lenka is mumbling at the front of the class and we are all just talking. I aimed a paper dart at Tom's head and he turned around.

"Why were you so late today?" Tom said

"I fancied a lie in. It is vair tiring being a professional street fighter."

"Or a professional snogger according to Jaz."

"Can your girlfriend not even go a day without telling you everything Gee says?"

"No not really but she is very good at finding moss. We found a particular kind of fungi the other day..."

"Tom. I'm going to say this very nicely. Shut up." Tom turned around and then Monsieur Lenka shouted at me.

"Dave why are you talking?"

"I'm not exactly the only one!"

"An apology would be fine Dave."

"Sorry."

"Sorry sir." He corrected.

"There's no need to call me sir monsieur Lenka."

One minute later

One bad conduct and I've only been here about 10 minutes. That can go in the record book.

3:30Pm

Riding Rollo out of the school gates he is quite tall so I have a good view.

Oh look I can see the girls. Ouch! Rollo had just dropped me to go and see Joolz. I will just have to walk over without my humble steed. Everyone is looking at something I shall have to go and see.

It is the lesbian and Gee. He looks angry and Gee looks miz. He's actually shouting at her, well he can't do that, not to Gee!

"Oi! Masimo if you want to shout at someone shout at me but leave Gee alone." Gee looked at me and then Masimo and she looked a bit scared.

"Okay laughy man! I can talk to my girlfriend however I want!" That's it no more Mr. nice Dave!

"Not in front of me you can't!" And I punched him right in the face. Ha take that stupid hairy Italian. I heard Tom shout

"Oh no not again!" And Rosie shouted

"In the name of pants, In the name of pants!" Masimo was just looking at Gee. She took a deep breath and said.

"Masimo I'm sorry but I can't see you anymore." And ran off. I would have run after her but when I turned around Emma was there raising her eyebrows.

"Can we talk?" she said. I nodded and followed her to the school gates. "Was that for Georgia?" she asked.

"You should have heard the way he was talking to her Em?"

"Why do you care so much about her Dave?"Emma wasn't looking sad she just looked curious.

"I don't know, I wish I didn't I really wish I didn't care so bloody much about her." Emma looked down.

"We shouldn't go out. It was a laugh though right we had a laugh see you around." I nodded and she walked off.

One second later

Well I haven't upset Emma but I have upset Gee. She looked so miz after the second fisticuffs fandango. And that didn't make me feel good. I'm going to have to ring her.

"Tom, can I borrow your mobile?" he nodded and I dialled Georgia's number.

"Hello Nicolson house I'm to miz to say anything interesting so hello?"

"Hi Gee. I'm sorry about today." I heard her sob.

"Its alright he was being mean. I just wish I'd seen it earlier. What am I going to do Dave?"

"I think you have to be brave and mature or whatever. Do you want me to come around?"

"Dave you're neither of those things." Too right I wasn't but I could give a dam good go for Georgia.

"I'm still coming over."

"Okay."

20 minutes later, At Gee's

Gee's Mutti answered the door in a vair low cut top. I kept me eyes securely on her face.

"Hello Dave what's happening mate?" Ha. I love it when old people try and sound young. It is comedy genius.

"Hi Mrs Nicolson I've come to see Gee."

"Please call me Connie." I smiled and went upstairs. Gee was sat on her bed with alot of Jammy Dodgers. But her makeup looks all fresh and her hairs all nice and bouncy.

"Hey Kittycat. How you holding up?"

"I've only eaten one packet so far. That's quite good right?" She is such good value I sat on her bed and ate a jammy dodger.

"Oi Dave you're meant to be comforting me. Not eating my jammy dodgers." She said. I hugged her and she rested her head on my chest. Her hair smelt of peach it was vair nice.

"You were too good for him anyway Gee." I said and she smiled.

"But he was gorgey."

"Yeah probably but not as gorgey as you." Gee wasn't listening.

"And his nose was proper size not big like mine." I laughed I don't see what's wrong with Gee's nose. I mean it is a little larger than most others but I think that's quite groovy.

"Gee your nose is lovely okay?" she looked up. I looked down at her. Uh oh! I just had to kiss her she looked so vair beautiful.

10 minutes later

Oh yeah! I am the snog master and Georgia is definitely the snog queen. Blimey that girl can snog!


	2. S'later Its simple!

**Its so vair hard to not be cheesy when you right from the laugh's point of view! But I am trying my best. Please R&R again because I love it.**

5:00Pm,snog city

Georgia pulled away from me. Hey I was enjoying that!

"Dave, why do we always snog?" Because I can't help myself when I see Gee's face probably. But no I must say something laughish.

"It is our hormones Kittycat. We cannot blame ourselves." She looked at me then stood up.

"But I don't think I should parade my red bottom in front of you again. It could give you the horn."

"I always have the horn for you kittycat" Oops didn't mean to say that aloud. Laugh it off Dave laugh it off. "I mean I have the horn for many people including the queen." The queen? Why the queen? I could have said anyone but no I have to say the queen.

"Dave why did you say the queen?"

"I don't know kittycat." she laughed

"Why are you not horrible to me when I used you as a red herring I think I would ignorez vous you for a long time?" What is this 20 questions? I'm swimming in unsafe waters here my mouth could start talking without my say so and then who knows what could come out.

"It is vair hard to stay mad at you Gee." That seems an acceptable thing to say.

"Right but..." I must leave before I say something I regret.

"Anyway I've got to be off Kittycat you know old people to rob and such like. S'later." And I left she looked a bit confused actually, I mean what's to be confused about? I said S'later witch everyone knows means I will definitely meet up with you. Girls are so confusing. Why can't girls be simple like boys when we say something we mean it? The walk from Georgia's house takes ages. I normally only have to walk about 5 minutes to get home from school but if I walk Gee's way instead it takes a good half an hour.

5:45Pm

I have arrived at loon head quarters.

"Hello family, strike out the roasted Oxen I am home!" They are all out. Of course they would be wouldn't they?

Phone's ringing.

"Honrmiester and general laugh speaking."

"Hi Dave its Tom."

"Hi Tom if you are calling about some moss I don't want to know."

"Ha-ha, Georgia told Jaz who asked me what you meant by S'later. And will you infact be seeing Georgia later?" Wow that's got to be a record for Jaz, not subtle that girl. Like her boyfriend.

"I meant of course see you later. So yes of course I will be seeing her later."

"That's what I thought but I just wanted to check." And he hung up. What is it with girls and S'later it's clearly written in those words see you later. I will have to make myself something good to eat to think about it.

Yum, cheese on toast. I always was a vair talented chef if I do say so myself, witch I do. I wonder if I could get away with another lie in tomorrow.

10 minutes later.

No such luck mum has just come home with ten alarm clocks.

"If these don't wake you up I'm taking you to the doctor. I've always thought he was quite nice looking." Oh God no just don't talk to me about fit looking men, honestly she is my mother she should be asking how I got on at school.

"Oh yeah I got another email at work today from your French teacher. Something about being insolent. I've got to in next Monday."

"What? That's not fair! I didn't do anything."

"Obviously you did Dave and just to let you know you're grounded."

"Does that mean I can't go to school then?"

"No." And she left. She can't keep me stuck in the house for this long. It is not fair. I have my ways of distracting her though.

The phones ringing again. I will of course get it as I am trying to get my sentence shortened for good behaviour.

"Hi Dave its Rollo. Were playing footie down the park you coming? There will be girls. And that means Georgia."

"I don't know what you mean about Georgia. But yes of course I will come. I am currently under house arrest though so you will have to send Sven around."

"Alright mate he's on his way."

I ran upstairs and got my trainers out. Then the doorbell rang. Okay from the moment mum answers the door I will have precisely 30 seconds to run out. I am perched at the bottom of the stairs. One two three. Mum's answered it and.

"Yaaa lady laugh!" Sven jumped at mum and started hugging her and yodelling. I ran behind Sven and waited behind the bush.

"Oh hello Sven why are you here." Mutti said,Sven just yodelled and shut the door. Then he jumped on my back and I had to carry him all the way to the park. As soon as Sven saw Rosie he ran off and I was left crippled and hobbling over to the lads.

"Alright Dave makes it 5 a side." Tom said. "Let's play."

0ne minute later

This is just a great game of football. Rollo is stood in the middle of the pitch snogging Jools, Declan keeps looking over at Ellen whenever the ball comes his way and Tom has found an ant nest that he just had to show Jaz. Therefore I am left doing keppy upies with myself. Witch to be honest is quite boring.

"Hey Dave err long time no Dig or something!" Ellen was stood behind me I think she was trying to sound cool. It wasn't working.

"Hi Ellen are you having fun watching Dec?" Ellen blushed.

"Urgh yeah you know. But anyway do you err like Georgia or something?" She looked behind her Gee had her hands over her face and was shaking her head at Ellen.

"Yes she is a vair nice sex kitty."

"Oh right cool or something!" Ellen said and she ran back to Gee I started listening to there conversation.

"He said that you were err you know a nice sex kitty and err that's good isn't it or something?"

"Yes Ellen it is quite good. Not that I care of course because we are just matey type mates."

"Err right well why did you ask me to go and err ask like him?"

"Because I am doing a survey for froggy lessons."

"But I am in your Froggy lesson should I do it to?" I think Georgia noticed I was listening then, well I say I think I actually know because she pointed at me then her nose."

"Yes Gee I know it's large you don't need to point it out!" I shouted, I didn't mean to say that! Brain to mouth brain to mouth say something nice, quickly. "That is remember why I love it!"That was alright at least I didn't say that is why I love you like I did at the camping fiasco. Because that was an accident that shall never be repeated. Never. Not even in my mind.

6:00Pm

Walking home with the lads and girls.

"Sven do you think you could sneak me in again?" I asked he just looked at me then at Rosie and he started snogging her. Right good point well made.

"Why are you grounded anyway Dave?" Gee asked I put my arm around her and did some invisible beard stroking.

"Well my mutti has to go into school for a meeting regarding my behaviour."

"What did you do?"

"That kittycat is classified information." We had reached Gee's house now and she was looking up at me. No I am not going to snog her this time. It's not fair on her or me for that matter. I gave her a little kiss on the mouth and said

"See you later Kittycat." She did the confused face again so I said "And I mean see you later as in I will see you later okay?"

"I think I have reached enlightenment on the see you later fandango now." I laughed and she went inside and I set off on my half an hour trek home.

**So there you go the secrets of see you later. Lol! I love Dave he is just to cool oh and thank you for you life story Trampy mouse it was vair interesting Lol.xx**


	3. Duffing up x2

**Pheew I've been away laughing on a fast camel for ages seeing mates and going to gigs and such like, what a marvy life I lead. So sorry I haven't updated for a while I'm trying to get two chapters up to night and the last chapter of my other fic. Vair busy!!**

**Okay enjoy this next chappie I am trying to explain Dave's brain But I think its pretty unexplainable. Please R&R love Becky xx**

9:30Am, Punishment day.

"Dave get your arse down here right now and smarten up."My mutti shouted, honestly when I am ever not smart. I take great care with my appearance.

One second later.

"Oh my God! Get your underwear off of your head Dave!" I laughed taking my pants of my head and chucking them at her. She shivered and looked at me crossly. Well isn't that cruel my own mother looking at me like that, I said

"Mutti I am the fruit of your loins please don't be angry with me."She just shook her head

"I know your the fruit of my loins it was bloody painful you see it was a horrible labour." I just stared at her with my mouth open. Why, why was she talking about this to me? I said

"Okay mum I accept that our relationship is over."

"Oh ha-ha right get your blazer on we are late." I got my blazer and followed her into the car.

10:00Am, 

Waiting outside the heads office monsieur Lenka is sat opposite us. I am giving him my worst look but he is just combing his beard. I think I may grow a bear just so I can comb it and when someone asks me a question I will twiddle it in a seductive manor (except if it's Tom then I will just be hitting him). I was just pondering the wonders of a beard brush when the head came out.

"Mrs Reynolds please come in and you Dave." The Headmaster, Mr "gay" Davies was stood at the door. I walked past looking very nearly normal.

"Sit down." I sat down next to mutti and looked at Mr gay.

"We've been having a lot of trouble with Dave as I'm sure you are aware. He's disruptive, rude and very immature."

"You're to kind." Mum gave me a look and I shut up.

"Thank you Dave. We are considering not having Dave on for the 6th form if he carries on in this way. His overall grades are surprisingly good but his manners do not match."

"Yes well he's definitely clever Mr Davies there's no worries there. And I'm going to try my hardest to teach him some manners but it is very hard for him without a fathers influence." What an excuse! No fathers influence. I didn't need my fathers influence thank you very much.

"Yes well that being so I'm only going to temporarily suspend Dave although..."

"Yess!"

"At least let me finish Dave otherwise it will be permanent expulsion!"

Half an hour later

Well the nub and gist of things is that I am suspended for a week and I am under strict house arrest. So I may have to resort to the Sven decoy plan once again. It is so boring here there is nothing to do. Whatsoever. Oh I have an idea my sister's on holiday with her mates I will give her a little surprise for when she gets back.

One minute later,

Well I have put shaving foam in her funny little hair thing I think that should be enough. She gets back tomorrow so it should be err nice and foamy by then. Ha-ha evil Dave strikes again.

One second later

Bored, bored, boring life in a boring house. I think I could sneak downstairs and just nip out of the door mutti wouldn't notice. Just be as quiet as a mouse Dave and walk very slowly.

Oh my God!

I opened the door and a bucket of water fell on my head, Mutti rushed out laughing

"Do you think I was born yesterday Dave skedaddle back up those stairs pronto." She laughed off and I headed back upstairs. Oh what is there to do in this house? And why was mutti hanging around here like a bad smell? Doesn't she realise that it is very hard to escape when she is hanging around.

3:25Pm

Mutti has just told me that she is nipping to the shops for five minutes and that if I go out she will punish me beyond words. So I'm walking to the school gates to meet my friends before I'm punished beyond words. It is vairs quiet when you are alone the birds are chirping and stuff like that. Not that I can here it as I'm listening to my iPod and dancing sexily. That is what I like to think anyway.

"Dave! Dave!" I opened my eyes from doing some cracking air guitar and Tom was stood in front of me. I hugged him and cried

"Tom how are the voles it's been years?" He just mumbled off back to Jaz. Aagh how lovely for them being all luurved up and such like. I walked over to Gee and Rosie, who were singing something about pants, how funny they were. I said

"Hello chicklets how are we grooving?"

"_Bonjour _Dave, we are grooving _les bien."_ Aagh the wonderful language that is French is even better when Rosie attempts to speak it.

"_Qui,_ and also yes. Now kittycat I believe this is later is it not?" She laughed her funny laugh when she sucks her nostrils in and sticks her tongue behind her mouth; I wonder why she does that?

"Yes Dave it is later and your here and were seeing each other." Ha I wish we were seeing each other.

"See its simple really the whole see you later fandango, Mark big gobs mouth on the other hand is quite the opposite." It was just me Jaz and Georgia now. Jaz was talking about Tom and Voles it was almost like her and Tom were twins accept that would be strange. Erlack! Jaz went into her house and informed me that Gee has been talking about me non-stop. Gee looked a bit angry at her and Jaz smiled and ran into her house.

"Oh there will be a serious duffing up incident tomorrow just you wait vole girl, just you wait." Gee whispered. So Gee had been talking about me had she? Well I know I'm an attractive guy but really?

"So what were you saying about me? Talking about my dashing good looks or my fantastic snogging skills Kittycat?"

"Neither actually I was simply saying that I didn't ever talk about you."

"So you were talking about not talking about me."

"Yes"

"So by saying you don't talk about me you were in actual fact talking about me."

"No."

"Right." I laughed at her and said knowing very well what it would lead to,

"Your mad Sex kitty"

"No your mad Dave" Ha now I had got things started

"You're mad"

"You're mad

"You're mad" And tickly bears, Gee snorted as I tickled her ribs. And then I pulled her up and kissed her. Mmmm Gee is a fantastic snogger she applies just the right amount of pressure, I hear foreign girls do that. Eventually Gee pulled away out of lack of breath, I think.

"So Georgia going to tell Jaz about that?" Gee just looked at me and said

"Nungh!" What does Nungh mean? I said

"Nungh?" And she kissed me again. I didn't start the kissing for once. Life my friend is good.

6:30Pm

Mum is still out five minutes my arse. Well while the cats away. I think I'll go for another walk. I may even see Gee and that may result in more snogging witch of course is always a plus. I put on my 

jacket and left the house as it was a bit nippy noodles outside. I walked along and then I was faced with Mark Big gob, with his little midget girlfriend. As I went past he said

"Alright Dave. That Georgia is she you girlfriend? Cos she has got some nice nunga's on her." I said

"Mark do you remember a while back when we had that little chat about Georgia?" He nodded "Well do you remember me saying it would result in a duffing up episode if you said anything again." He just stuttered and went

"I was err talking about another Georgia not that one mate." And he ran off. Ha I must be terrifying, I am the rock. I turned the corner into Gee's drive and I could see two people snogging ahead it looked a bit passionate actually so I went to cross the road and that's when I heard.

"Oh Georgia I've missed you." What?

"I've err missed you to Robbie." Georgia's voice said and then she made that Nungh noise she had made earlier with me. I just stood there watching and my heart it felt like it was in my throat (not literally obviously). I turned and ran off. But I could still hear them snogging over my footsteps.

**Sorry but that had to happen for my plot to work. He-he I'm so cruel to you guys. Please R&R again as you know I lurve it.**

**x**


	4. The darling buds of PANTS!

**I'm now scared of being barbequed alive if this doesn't turn out aright ha-ha. Sorry about spelling Jas wrong I was a bit of a silly billy there wasn't I. Okay lets get this show on the road then R&R please because I will say this once again I luurve to read it.**

10 Pm, in bed

Georgia can snog anyone who she wants because I don't care. It was just a natural reaction because I was err geared up for snogging. Georgia's single now and its up to her to snog a sex God, I mean she's bound to have boys going after her she's gorgeous. And it's probably sounding like I care but I don't, its just because once again when things were looking up for me a vegetable obsessed guitar plucker turns up. When things get bad I think it's always best to have a little kip Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

11:30Am, Tuesday

"Hello _la famille_ I am home. And I have gifts not for you Dave I ate yours on the plane!" My sister Sara's voice came into my head. I groaned and rolled out of bed.

Ouch! I landed on a laptop! Who puts a laptop there anyway? I put some jeans on and walked out into the hall. Sara was standing at the bottom of the stairs talking to herself.

"Nobody's bloody in! That's just peachy I'm sure I was missed terribly."

"Hi Sara." She turned around

"Oh hi Dave you alright?"

"Suspended."

"Again?" I nodded and she grinned at me.

"Nice work little bro!" She high fived me on the way upstairs then I heard her scream. "Dave! There is shaving foam everywhere! You are so dead."

12:00Am

I am sitting outside with just my jeans on as I have been locked out by Sara. It is very nippy noodles! I am going to get pneumonia of the chest. Robbie Jennings has just walked past and seen me. If he wasn't Tom's brother I would have duffed him up honourably. He smiled at me and said

"Aright Dave mate long time no dig."

"Hi Robbie."

"You alright Dave you look a bit cold."

"No it's a type of therapy you see." He laughed

"You remind me of Georgia sometimes" I raised me eyebrows and he walked off. Idiot. Not that I care. I started banging on the door with my head.

"Let me in. Let me in. Let me in." Sara opened the door and I fell straight through onto the floor She started laughing like a loon.

"Oh my giddy god Dave! Hey have you been working out little bro? Bet Emma likes that."

I shook my head to see if it was still connected; it seemed to be so I got up.

"Nah. Were not going out anymore." I said and she smiled

"Good she was too nice for her own good." Always speaks her mind my sister, lovely really. And you would think she would've taken all the shaving foam out of her hair wouldn't you. But you would be wrong there because she is walking around with it still in her hair I said

"Why have you got shaving cream still in your hair?"

"It may do it some good."

"Right." I went upstairs and put a t-shirt on. I might go down and see Sven as he does nothing all day apparently.

2 hours later

I was wrong about Sven he does alot of things and none of them are normal. I am currently stood in a pair of flashing flares as Sven pins them into a more apparently fashionable length. They are now flashing flared shorts.

"Sven its not that I don't trust you or anything mate but watch were your putting those pins." He just laughed and stuck a pin in his thumb and started waving it around. Oh that's disgusting anything with blood or needles type stuff and I'm gone. I said to Sven

"Put it away seriously I'm going to feint. Then Sven picked me up in a fireman's lift making siren noises and is now running through town towards school.

It is seriously high up here how does Rosie reach Sven to snog him? I can here the school bells going and Sven has dropped me. And run off to see the lads.

"David my good friend! How are you? Behaving yourself at home like a good little boy. Whilst you're most amazing friend Rollo has clocked up a grand total of 6 lunch time detentions and one after school!"Rollo bowed "Thank you, thank you no need for applause please."

I shook his hand.

"Just wait till I get back to school Rollo. Your detentions will look puny compared to mine. And besides I'm suspended that's worth at least 5 detentions." Rollo just looked at me and made a W with his hands

"Whatever Trevor." And then he started singing "I am the champion my friends". I will let him bask in his glory for now.

"Dave we have to help with Romeo and Juliet after school from tomorrow onwards and you still have to come."Tom said. I said

"Should I compare thee to a summers PANT thou art more lovely and more temperate rough winds do shake the darling PANTS of may and summer least have to shorter PANTS." Tom just looked at me and said

"I'll take that as I just then should I?"

"Yes."

And he ran off to his girlfriend Mrs Vole. Actually I was being a bit of a gosegog. Everyone had girlfriends apart from Georgia. She was walking just behind me but I wasn't going to make the first move.

"Hi Dave how's it grooving?" She said I turned around

"Hi Gee I'm not grooving to well." Tom and Jas were walking in front of us looking all holdy handsy. And I sighed. "They have no hint of red bottomnisity do they?"

"No but they do like moss." I didn't feel like laughing but I pretended to a little bit.

"No. But seriously why can't it be that simple because if you really liked someone why couldn't they just like you. And not want to snog anyone else?" Georgia looked down.

"Right yeah I think I know what you mean."

"You know what I mean because you're who I'm talking about." She looked at me with her mouth gaping. I shouldn't have said that but it was what I was feeling and I didn't always have to be a laugh I could be serious sometimes and a bit unlaughy.

"But, but I mean I don't know" Of course she didn't know because Georgia doesn't like me like that she always chooses the other guy and never me unless she's using me.

"Because I really like you Gee Witch you know cos I told you when you were with the lesbian and then you weren't and we had a good snog but then I see you snogging Robbie."

"You saw that?"

"Obviously."

"That was. I'm so confused Dave I really like you but I also like Robbie. And it's not fair because I want to have the specific horn but then I get the cosmic horn because of you and your horny ways." She said that all very fast and it took me a while to digest it. She liked to people and in my wise ways I know that's possible.

"You've got to chose sometime Georgia. I'll always be there for you. But you have got to decide." That sounded similar to something that happened a while ago somewhere that involved fish. I started walking off. Then I heard.

"I'd choose you."I turned around. "I'd always choose you Dave. My heart would but my brain would probably choose someone else. And we all no my brains not trustworthy."She smiled sucking her nostrils in. The snogging tension was growing but I was just staring at Gee. And she was staring at me. Then she bent her head to one side. I walked towards her and lifted her up. Then I kissed her very softly for about a minute and 29 seconds approximately. When I stopped Gee smiled and said

"Dave why are you wearing flashing shorts?"

**Okay can I not get barbequed now Lol. And don't worry about Sven's flares being ruined I'm sure he has cupboards full Lol. Oh and also I love Rollo! R&R Becky x**


	5. Viking biscuit mush!

**Hello, To Wombat power hmm Dave the laugh and Rollo snogging great idea. I am so joking! Joking Lol. Anyway thanks for reviewing! So there back to snogging but what will happen? I have a groovy idea for how they go out and its going to be a little bit cheesy and a little bit mad so I'm saying sorry in advance Lol. Enjoy x**

**One second later,**

"Wow that boy can stitch can't he?" Gee said I just looked at her she was bent down looking at the shorts, hmm what an interesting position we were in. I said

"Hey gee whilst you're down there."She got up and gave me what I think she thinks is a bad look but it made me want to get off with her. Alot.

"So Georgia shall we get coffee?"I asked she smiled and we walked over to the coffee bar. I put my arm around her. And she sort of sunk into me.

"So are you Dave the laugh again now?" I laughed

"Is the pope a vicar?"

"Probably."

1 hour later

When I dropped Georgia home we snogged again. And I didn't feel bad infact I felt quite nearly very happy. When we were getting coffee Gee ordered a cappuccino and she did that thing when she purses her lips so she didn't get a coffee moustache. I however drank mine without a thought.

"Dave you've got a moustache."

"Hmm it must be puberty. Do you find it attractive Kittycat?" She giggled then and got coffee everywhere the coffee lady had to clean it up and then she nicely hinted that we should leave. So Gee and I went for a walk in the park. It was vair amusing I have said this before and I will say it again Gee is great value.

When I got in mutti was there looking all angry.

"Where the hell have you been? You're meant to be grounded." She said I just looked blank and said

"Mutti this is a mirage I am actually upstairs working on my homework."

"Don't be so bloody cheeky get upstairs right now." How rude, you would think she would be pleased to see me. I am taking a talking strike in other words I am ignores vousing her.

Phones ringing. And no-ones answering it. Mum and Sara are in the kitchen talking about girly stuff you couldn't pay me to go in there right now. So I am left to answer the phone.

"Hello, insane isalym David speaking how may I help?"

"Dave. Its Tom."

"Hello Tom."

"Hello Dave." Then there was silence for a while.

"Ugh Tom you rang me you so you are meant to talk." I heard some mumbling then Tom say

"Yeah ok right yeah" Quietly then he said loudly to me "So Gee?"

"It's Dave."

"I no but what happened with Georgia?" Radio Jas strikes again.

"The usual we went out we said goodbye we snogged." I said "After she snogged your brother by the way did you know about that?"

"No what Georgia and Robbie?" Then I heard some mumbling and rustling and Jas came on the phone.

"Hello Dave its Jas now."

"Oh I thought Tom had a sex change."

"Ugh no. But I think you should speak to Georgia because you are a bit confusing together." What? Jas was a bit confusing actually. But the nub and gist of it is that tomorrow at rehearsals I am going to talk to Georgia about us. I am just going to grab the bull by the wotsits and say Georgia will you be my girlfriend? See it's easy.

**Wednesday,12:00Pm**

I woke up to water being thrown on my head. Tom, Rollo, Sven and Dec were all crowded round my bed. Rollo was holding an empty bucket and grinning like a loon. Dec and Sven were lying on the floor and Tom was talking to my sister.

"Well Sara we are all here because Dave is going to ask Georgia out today."

"Cool. I'll help him escape then I like the sound of that Georgia." Why was Tom telling my sister this and why weren't they at school? I got out of bed and everyone started laughing.

"Nice boxers mate!" I was wearing Thomas the tank engine ones, they were my favourites.

"Why thank you. They are my favourites. But Declan please stop staring I am afraid you are on the turn." I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt and looked at them all raising my eyebrows. "Enlighten me to why you are her again?"Rollo did his stupid grin again and punched my arm,

"Today's the day David! We have even taken the day off school to prepare for the romance."

"What's today?"

"Asking out Georgia day!" Didn't I only tell Tom last night? Oh wait that's probably the reason everyone knows. Well I'm going to have to do it now then.

"Okay we have precisely 2 hours until Romeo and Juliet. And we need a plan." A plan whatever happened to the spontaneity of luurve? I said

"Whatever happened to the spontaneity of luurve?" Sven just jumped on me.

Ouch I am broken all over. And I'm pretty sure by the time I actually see Georgia I will have no unbroken bones left in my body. We are now taking part in a vital activity that is essential.

One minute later

We are having a how many jammy dodgers can you fit in you mouth fight. And it is now between me and Sven. I have 23 jammy dodgers in my mouth and I think I'm about to choke.

Two seconds later

Oh my God! Sven has just spat his dodgers everywhere and my room is covered in Viking biscuit mush!

"Sven these are my best rambling trouser! Jas is going to kill you."

"YAAAA, RAMBLE ON GROOVSTER!" And then he picked Tom up and ran out of the room with him. We looked out of the window. Yep Sven is running down the road with Tom still on his shoulders. I 

will get changed and follow him. I think I am in the perfect asking out outfit but I have forgotten hair gel. Pants!

Half an hour later, Rehearsals

That fat headmistress with a hundred chins is wobbling on. I can see Rollo winking at Jools and even Dec and Ellen are looking at each other. I caught Gee's eye and grinned at her. She and Rosie were both doing a disco inferno dance every time the fat teacher turned around, it was vair amusing.

"Georgia Nicolson and Rosie Mee's! You would think that in light of recent events you would be a little more sensible." The girls nodded along and when miss size zero (not) turned around they did some more dancing.

Another half an hour later

"Romeo, Romeo where for art though Romeo?" Jas shouted dramatically. I shouted from behind the curtain,

"Try looking in your PANTS!" I heard Gee giggle from behind me. She had just got back from being shouted at by the headmistress and she looked very hyper.

"Hey Kittycat howeth be youeth?" My Shakespearian is really coming on like billion.

"I am grooviest David of the PANTS!" Right Dave grab the horn by the whatsits and ask her out. You can do it. Now do it. "I've got to get on stage for some panty fun now." She said and ran through the curtain singing the hills are alive with the sound of PANTS to much applause from Sven and Rosie. Come on Dave its time to be sponteanetious do what you must. I grabbed one of the little harness things that make you fly on the stage and got strapped in. Then I said

"Sven hoist me up! And Rosie don't snog him whilst he's doing it my life is at risk here." They gave me a salute and I was raised into the air. Then I sort of flew across stage and straight into a wall.

Ouch! But no I'm not going to give up that easily. I am hanging from my trousers right in front of Gee.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day though art more lovely and more temperate rough winds do shake the darling buds of May and summer least have to shorter date. Oh and PANTS! Lower me down Sven." Sven just kind of let go and I came crashing down on Georgia.

Two seconds later

I managed to land on my feet by a miracle and I put my hands on Gee's waist and said

"Kittycat how would you like to go on a date sometime."

"Well... alright then Mr Laugh." And I kissed her with tongues and lip nibbling and all the trimmings. I could here everyone applauding and Sven yodelling.


	6. smoking jackets and cigars

**It's official. Excuse me whilst I sing. Oh and my other story left behind I'm sorry if it made you cry I was just in one of those moods Lol. So this is the date. Lots of funny times and fluff enjoy, **

**P.s I have another fic idea that I can't wait to do infact I'm grabbing the bull by the wotsits and writing it straight after this one. So look out for it ******

**P.p.s I'm really sorry for the incredibly rude joke I'm about to make about Masimo in this but blame it on my impressionable mind.**

10 minutes later

I'm being shouted at by the headmistress, Rosie says her names Slim. Georgia is being told off to.

"We have welcomed you into our school and you take the chance to disrupt our rehearsals and then you... you canoodle with a girl infront of us all. And you Georgia Nicolson I have told you off before for canoodling with another boy outside of school. Well what have you got to say for yourselves?"She put her hands on her hips and just stood there staring at us like a staring thing. I made a thoughtful face

"Well, we are teenagers miss it has to be expected of us doesn't it. A fine educator as yourself must understand that. But of course I apologise completely" She looked quite pleased with that and then she turned to Georgia

"And you miss Nicolson what do you have to say for yourself?" Gee was looking at the floor and shaking then she snorted and went

"You said canoodle!" And burst out laughing. Slim went really red and started mumbling about the good old days when dinosaurs roamed the earth bla bla bla. Me and Gee scarped off pretty quickly. Everyone else had gone so it was just me and her.

"Could you not of said anything else Gee? I shall never be aloud in your school again, well unless I detach my lips first." I don't think Gee was even listening because she had a really thoughtful look on her face and then she said

"Could a cow and a human have a child" I laughed.

"What?"

"Urgh um well you know."

"Hi Ellen! I didn't know you were here." She gave me her annoyed look and ignores voused me. I think she thought she was being mature but it wasn't working. "Gee don't ignore me you know it gives me the horn."

"Your aloud to have the horn now Dave. And anyway I am in a thinking mood and therefore I've got a hint of a mad brain but I am vair happy." Yeah I think I got that, see I'm quite proud of the fact that I can always understand what Gee's saying not everybody can you see.

"So Gee where shall we go on our date?"

"Urm the park? That's where we first went wasn't it."

"Well I didn't know you were such a romantic Georgia." To be honest I didn't want to go to the park because that's where we went when she was using me. And I don't like to think about that. "Nah I want to take you somewhere posh where we can embarrass ourselves and speak poshly." I might even wear a top hat.

"Okay then Mr laugh. Let's go to a posh restaurant and wear our finest clothes. Hey you could wear a top hat!" Was she reading my mind? I hope she isn't getting a touch of the mystic Meg about her. We were walking towards her house but I didn't want to have to say goodbye just yet, I got out my mobile and rang the home phone. Mutti answered I passed the phone to Gee and said

"Quick Gee say is Sara in." She looked at me weirdly but I just nodded at the phone.

"Is Sara in?" Gee handed the the phone back just as Sara came on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Does mum know I'm not in?"

"No she thinks you're in bed I made a fake you and put the cupboard in front of the door."

"Nice work okay I want to sneak in Georgia's with me."

"Righty oh I'll distract her for you, you have about 5 minutes."

"Thank you lovely sister" She rang off.

"Why did I have to say that Dave?" Gee said

"Because I can't do a girls voice and my mum would recognise mine. And I want you to come over." She looked thoughtful and then said

"I think you could do a nice girls voice Dave." One word, loon. I turned to walk down my street and Gee stopped.

"Ugh Dave it's this way." Oh yeah I forgot that Gee didn't know just how far away her house was from mine. I just said

"Yeah but this ways quicker." She shrugged and followed me. I took her up to my house the door was open and I could here shouting.

"Oh mutti it's definitely broken! Oh the pain the pain" I pulled Georgia into the house and looked through the kitchen door. Sara was lying on the floor and mutti was bending over her with her back to me. As we walked past Sara winked but then went back to acting, badly.

10 minutes later,

Sara won't leave, her and Gee are talking about stuff and it's all very fast.

"So you and my little brother hey?" Sara nudged me so I nudged her back she fell off the bed. "Ouch! Dave you're stronger than you look aren't you. You really have been working out." She climbed back on the bed and smiled at Georgia. "So?"

"Ugh yeah we are official." She grinned at me and I would quite liked to have kissed her then if my sister wasn't smiling like a loon next to us.

"Well I've heard all about you Georgia and you seem quite respectable so I give you my blessing." And she shook Georgia's hand. I just looked at her. "What? At least I don't have a cigar. Do you remember when mum had that boyfriend and you took to walking around in a smoking jacket?" Georgia laughed a bit loon like and said

"You have a smoking jacket. Ha that reminds me of when Masimo came round to introduce himself to my Dad and he smoked a pipe."

"Ugh how incredibly flash." I said and then Gee goes

"Well I think it was incredibly Italian actually." And then Sara said

"Same thing." And Georgia looked at us like a looking thing for ages. It was a bit strange but whatever.

"Are you talking about that Masimo? The really flash one that sings in that band?" Sara asked

"Ugh yeah."

"Why was he introducing himself to your Vatti?"

"Because we went out and also because he is as you said flash and Italian." She looked at me and nodded like one of those dogs that you put in the back of cars. Sara frowned a bit and said

"Hmmm yeah he is quite good looking in a sort of where's my handbag sort of way though."

Georgia looked at Sara and then at me and said

"Are you the same person?" Sara got up and said

"Yes we are. Now I'm going to make a few phone calls you groovesters go about your snogging and such. Ciao Georgia nice meeting you." And she left. Georgia turned around and looked at me; she sort of cocked her head to one side and parted her lips, very sexy. I leant forward and kissed her really slowly and then I sort of flicked my tongue a bit and she made a groan. Then I moved onto her neck and well I made my mark.

5 Minutes later

Georgia is fingering her love bite in my mirror.

"Dave I am going to have to waste so much concealer on this now! The Hitler youth will have a fit."

"It is not my fault if I accidently fell on your neck. Just blame it on a Hoover." She crossed her arms and looked at me.

"Tom gave Jas a love bite." Really? Well Vole man didn't tell me this.

"Where kittycat?"

"On her big toe." Oh god. Maybe giving each other toe love bites is what great crested newts do? Hopefully I shall never know.

Half an hour later

Sneaking back into the house after walking Gee back. I am meeting her at the clock tower at 7:30 for our date tomorrow. Mum is standing there looking all flustered Sara's standing next to her.

"Right you two backs against the wall." Why is Masimo around? Ha-ha and that is why I shall be a comedian when I am older because my friend I am funny.

Standing with my back against the wall next to Sara. Hang on haven't I already done this today?

"Rightio offspring here is the ultimatum. You may think your mum doesn't notice anything but I do. You Sara did not hurt your ankle as even if I am amazing I do not have healing hands. And you Dave have had a girl here when you're grounded. We are going to have some order in this house. And I have someone to help me out now."

"Oh God its not super nanny is it!" I cried

"I refuse to sit on the naughty step" Sara said oh how we laughed. Even mum was nearly smiling but then she breathed in and said

"I want you to meet my new boyfriend so he's coming over tomorrow." Oh I'll have to dig my smoking jacket out now. Where did I put it? "Are you alright with that?"

"Can I bring my girlfriend?"

"Emma?"

"No Georgia."

"You're finally going out with Georgia." What does she mean finally going out with Georgia? Its not like I ever thought about it before. Cough cough.

"Yes so can I bring her?"

"Of course. Do you want to bring a special friend Sara?"

"No"

10 minutes later

Phoning Gee.

Ringing

Ringing

"No Libby put the cucumber down it's not for hitting with. Stop it look Angus! Yes hit him instead." I laughed to myself (Quite cool I like to think) "Hello loon residents Georgia speaking with a cucumber about to be stuck up her bumholey."

"Hello this is general laugh speaking change of plans for tomorrow sexkitty."

"Oh can't you come?"

"Yeah but how do you fancy meeting my dear old mutti and her new boyfriend."

"Will you be wearing your smoking jacket?"

"Yes"

"Alrightio then."

"Good good I luurve you Gee bye." Okay now to go to sleep it's probably too cheeky to ask for any food as being grounded probably means being starved in this house.

1:30Pm

Niaace lie in. I can hear the birds chirping and cats meowing. I must dig out my smoking jacket for comedy affect.

Ten minutes later

I can't find it anywhere. I will have to go and ask Sara. She is still asleep so of course as the kind brother I am I will have to mess with her brains,

"Make Dave a coffee, he is your brother you love him make Dave a coffee." She hit my round the head then.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Looking for my smoking jacket."

"Oh of course yeah look in my wardrobe."

Ha found it and I think I look very cool in it.

7:20Pm

Walking down to the clock tower in my smoking jacket. I can see Georgia's already there. Hmm she's keen. I will say that to her when I get there.

"You're a bit kee..." I had to stop because Georgia snogged me very passionately (ooer). When she stopped I said

"Make that very keen. Come on Miss Sexkitty." I grabbed her hand and we skipped down the road and into my drive. When we got in mum and Sara were talking to a very tall looking guy he had a bit of a deep voice. I whispered to Gee

"He is a bit on the Sven side of things isn't he." She replied

"Yes but is he a Viking?"

10 minutes later

It turns out he isn't a Viking he is "call me John" and he is from Yorkshire. He has even complemented me on my smoking jacket so I know he is reasonable man now.

"So how long have you and Georgia been going out for Dave?"

"About one day John."

"Aagh so you're just getting to know each other."

"No John I have known Georgia many years now let's get onto you. Have you got a job John?" It is of course vital that I say John at the end of everyone sentence.

"Yes I'm a lawyer." Oohs get you John. I bet he carries a briefcase I will have to call him Mr Briefcase form now on.

"Very good, very good." I raised my eyebrows at Sara and that's when I realised she was smoking a cigar.

Half an hour later

Mutti has cooked a roast dinner. I must say it is quite burnt but everyone is being polite. Mutti has just been asking Georgia about school. And I now know that Georgia is a good lier as she has said and I quote

"Oh yes Mrs Laugh it is very good I enjoy it thoroughly." Mrs Laugh? Mutti said

"Mrs Laugh?"

"Well Dave's nickname is Dave the laugh and so I figured that your name might be laugh as well." We all just nodded along but I don't think anyone realises what she's talking about.

Mutti has now cleared our plates and is serving pudding she said to Georgia.

"What is your favourite pudding Georgia?" And Gee said

"Dave the tart" And started snorting like her sister it was vair amusing to watch especially when she banged the table and call me John's apple pie fell all down his front.

2 hours later

Walking Gee home like the good boyfriend I am. She is getting all flustered

"Oh I can't believe I said that and then with the apple sauce I knocked it over."

"I know I was there."

"Yes well it was embarrassing." We are walking quite slowly because Gee keeps stopping to get flustered. The next time we stop I'm just going to snog her. That should shut her up.

2 Seconds later

We stopped so we are snogging. Lots. Mmmm yum. I put my hands on Gee's waist and pulled her into me, she smelt like cherries it was vair nice. I sort of let my hands travel up her waist and onto her nunga's. How very strange to think that Mark big gob had been here.

Out of brain now previous snogging partners now concentrate on the snogging.

**Really sorry but I don't have enough time to read through this so sorry if it's got some mistakes. Bexky xx please R&R x**


	7. Chapter 7 preview

Half an hour later,at home

Georgia has had quite alot of ex snoggees, but then again so have I. I wonder who has snogged the most people. Gee has snogged, Mark big gob (erlack!), Robbie Jennings, that Peter Dyer(total ladies man.) and the lesbian. So thats 5 including my gorgeous self. Now on to the hornmiester. Well it started with that girl I met on holiday, nice girl not a great kisser. Then Georgia using me as a red herring. Then Ellen, she was nice but there wasn't any sign of the horn specific or otherwise with her. Then it was Rachel, she was err keen infact she was a bit to keen for my liking although she was a vair good snogger. Then it was Emma. Aagh Emma she was very nice and I did like her quite a bit but I also liked someone else alot more. So I have had 5 including Georgia. Wow were even stevens.

I'll tell you who the best snogger is though and thats Gee. I like the way that she giggles after we snog. It is viar sweet and lovely. I think I am becoming a it girly but it is good to be in touch with your feminine side isn't it apparently that is what girls like. Boys that are snsative. Maybe that is why Gee liked Masimo because he was ridiculously feminine. I have said it before and I will say it again girls are very mysterious creatures. I will ring Rollo to contemplae it.

Ringing.

Ringing

Ringing

"Hello?" Rollo grunted down the phone honestly he is like a cave man.

"Rollo why do girls like girly boys?"

"Well urm" I could here a squelching noise. Oh God Rollo was snogging whilst I was on the phone to him.

"Oi mate put Jools down for five inutes and talk to me." Then I heard a noise that sounded like a plunger and a girls voice came on.

"Its not Jools its rachel remeber Dave." What Rachel? My ex girlfriend. But he's meant to be with Jools. I won't let him do this to her, its just not fair.

"Put Rollo on the phone Rachel." She giggled off and Rollo's voice came on again.

"Mate I didn't mean to I."

"Shut up Rollo. I'm coming over right now!" I slammed the phone down and left the house.

10 minutes later

Knocking on Rollo's door.

His mum has answered the door

"Hiya Dave he's just upstairs. He's got a lady friend up there." I nodded and went up to his room. I opened he door and they were both sat on the bed.

"Rollo, Rachel hi." Rollo looked all guilty but Rachel gave me a smug sort of grin.

"Hi Dave long time no dig."She said.

"Hello Rachel I've just come to talk to Rollo if thats okay"

"Look mate I didn't mean anything by it."

"I can't believe you would do this Rollo!"


	8. Revenge of the Rachel

**Here it finally sorry it took so long I have been vair busy and such like so please R&R the plot starts here,**

Half an hour later,at home

Georgia has had quite a lot of ex snoggees, but then again so have I. I wonder who has snogged the most people. Gee has snogged, Mark big gob (erlack!), Robbie Jennings, that Peter Dyer (total ladies man.) and the lesbian. So that's 5 including my gorgeous self. Now on to the hornmiester. Well it started with that girl I met on holiday, nice girl not a great kisser. Then Georgia using me as a red herring. Then Ellen, she was nice but there wasn't any sign of the horn specific or otherwise with her. Then it was Rachel, she was err keen infact she was a bit to keen for my liking although she was a vair good snogger. Then it was Emma. Aagh Emma she was very nice and I did like her quite a bit but I also liked someone else a lot more. So I have had 5 including Georgia. Wow we are even Stevens.

I'll tell you who the best snogger is though and that's Gee. I like the way that she giggles after we snog. It is viar sweet and lovely. I think I am becoming a it girly but it is good to be in touch with your feminine side isn't it apparently that is what girls like. Boys that are sensitive. Maybe that is why Gee liked Masimo because he was ridiculously feminine. I have said it before and I will say it again girls are very mysterious creatures. I will ring Rollo to contemplate it.

Ringing.

Ringing

Ringing

"Hello?" Rollo grunted down the phone honestly he is like a cave man.

"Rollo why do girls like girly boys?"

"Well urm" I could here a squelching noise. Oh God Rollo was snogging whilst I was on the phone to him.

"Oi mate put Jools down for five minutes and talk to me." Then I heard a noise that sounded like a plunger and a girls voice came on.

"Its not Jools its Rachel remember me Dave?" What Rachel? My ex girlfriend. But he's meant to be with Jools. I won't let him do this to her, its just not fair.

"Put Rollo on the phone Rachel." She giggled off and Rollo's voice came on again.

"Mate I didn't mean to I."

"Shut up Rollo. I'm coming over right now!" I slammed the phone down and left the house.

10 minutes later

Knocking on Rollo's door.

His mum has answered the door

"Hiya Dave he's just upstairs. He's got a lady friend up there." I nodded and went up to his room. I opened he door and they were both sat on the bed.

"Rollo, Rachel hi." Rollo looked all guilty but Rachel gave me a smug sort of grin.

"Hi Dave long time no dig."She said.

"Hello Rachel I've just come to talk to Rollo if thats okay"

"Look mate I didn't mean anything by it."

"I can't believe you would do this Rollo!" He looked really uncomfortable. Then Rachel piped up.

"Oh Rollo it's got nothing to do with you Dave misses me he's just jealous." What jealous?

"Ugh Rachel I'm really not." She looked at me and I added "I have Georgia. And currently Rollo is cheating on one of her best friends so I'm going to sort it out." She carried on looking at me like a looking thing. Rollo was still staring at the floor.

"Rollo do you like Jools?" He looked up and nodded

"Yeah I do. Alot. I am a prat and a fool and I need to learn a lesson."

"Yeah you do. And why with Rachel anyway?" Rachel made a fake gasp and stood up

"I am still here you know." I just said

"Yeah I know so am I."

"Right well I'm going to go."

"Hang on Do you want me to be jealous or something?"

"Maybe I don't know. You broke up with me and I kind of still like you." Oh God! What fresh hell? How best to handle this.

"Well err your a nice girl but I'm with Georgia now."

"Georgia? The big nosed one."

"Well I suppose yes." She cocked her head to one side then she snogged me. Aagh stop snogging me, I pushed her away.

"I just told you I had a girlfriend. Why would that mean come and snog me?" She just walked out. Females I have said it before and I will say it again I do not understand them. At all.

"Are you going to say anything to Georgia about this Dave?" Should I say something to Georgia. I didn't like lying to her but she would probably tell Jools and then they would all be unhappy. Oh I hate knowing secrets.

Half an hour later

Walking down to the park. Rollo is being strangely quiet but I feel a bit un laughish actually and know one likes that.

When we got to the park Rollo ran over to Jools and picked her up and spun her around. She looked very happy and they went off to "talk privately". I walked over to Gee.

"Hello gorgeous." I was telling the truth Gee did look rather sex kittyish I couldn't tell you what she was wearing because I am a heterosexual guy and I do am not interested in where she got her handbag from. She smiled up at me.

"Hello Mr laugh."

"Are you alrightey Mrs Laugh?"

"As alrightey as to alrightey things." I love the way she talks, once you get over the confusingness of it that is. I sat next to her and joined in their conversation.

"Yeah but you know he hasn't really" Ellen was stammering along.

"Introduced you to his trouser snake addendum?" Rosie suggested.

"Err no he hasn't"

"Shown you his lederhosen?" Georgia offered then Rosie turned around and did a strange cross eyed look. Georgia saluted at her and then she turned around to me.

"Do you want to go for a walk or are you to interested in Ellen's very interesting story?" I laughed and held my hand out to her but at that moment Jools came stalking towards me with Rollo running after her. She slapped me round the face.

"How can you be all lovey dovey with Georgia after what you've done?" She shouted. I raised my eyebrows. Was she shouting at me because of the Rollo thing? I don't think I've really done anything wrong.

"I, haven't really done anything Jools." I said smiling

"Dave what's she talking about?" Gee asked looking a bit miz.

"He's been cheating on you with Rachel!" Jools said staring down at me. What? Me cheating on Gee? With Rachel? Rollo had started walking off quite quickly. I shouted after him.

"Oi Rollo you have got some explaining to do." He turned around and said really quietly so no one else could here.

"I'm really sorry Dave but Jools saw Rachel leaving my house and then me and you and well I sort of said I'd stopped you and her from you know snogging."

"Rollo!"

"Yeah?"

"You selfish idiot." I walked off back to the crowd, Gee was crying I went over to her but she just walked off.

**Sorry this has taken so long I have had so much art coursework to catch up on. I am quite proud of it actually hopefully I'll get my A. Anyway how cliff hanger is this and I do really like Rollo so sorry for using him like this. Teehee bye xx R&R**


	9. And it all ended happily ever after?

**I think this might be the last chapter of this story unless it has a good response. I am in the process of writing another one that is slightly different. So please Review because I love it so much. Nearly as much as I love my fabby readers.**

Two seconds later

I am standing in a park with all of Georgia's friend's eviling me and I can see Georgia running away. Jas has just ran past me to chase her as she ran past she shouted,

"Go talk to Tom." Then she whizzed past after Gee. I walked over to Tom; he was standing a little bit away from the girls. I quickly walked past them and me and Tom started walking.

"I didn't cheat on her Tom."

"I know you didn't Dave." How did he know? "I mean I've been putting up with you talking about her 24 7 for 3 years now. And you are a genuinely good chappie and I know you wouldn't do anything so dishonourable. Well excluding your sneaky snogs with Georgia when you and Emma were going out." Tom is right. I am a very nice man and the only person I'd ever cheat on Georgia with is Georgia and even the incredibly dim know that is not possible.

"So how did all of this come about?" Tom asked I shrugged my shoulders and told him everything. "What? So Rollo cheated on Jools? And then blamed it on you."

"Yes that is the nub and gist of it Vole man." He gave me a look then scratched his head for ages I said. "Tom why are you scratching your head like that?"

"It helps me think." Yes right how could I have been so stupid? Oh well I'm sure Mr Vole will think of a good plan. "I will speak to Jas Dave." Hmm consulting radio Jas good idea.

Half an hour later

At Tom's. He is ringing Jas.

"Hiya Po. It's Tom." Po? Is he serious? Po as in the teletubby? I bit my lip to stop me from laughing. "Are you with Georgia? Oh right well yes. Of course he didn't cheat on her. Yes alright. I love you more. No you hang up. No you hang up...Dave" I had pulled the chord out of the phone.

"Oh sorry Tom I thought you were telling me to hang up." He gave me a look and then said

"Right Jas has just been with Georgia and she is really cut up about it. I think you should get round there." I got up and went to the door. "Ring first Dave. So she can prepare or whatever." Yeah good point, Georgia would probably die if she didn't have the right lip-gloss on or something. I will use Tom's phone to ring her.

Ringing, ringing, ringing

"Hello bakery of misery Georgia the lonely hermit speaking."

"Gee it's Dave. Can I come round?" She sighed.

"Yes but I might not let you in." I will climb her drainpipe if I have to and that my friend is _le fact._

Half an hour later

Walking to Gee's house. It is surprisingly quiet.

One second later

I tell a lie. Libby Georgia's sister had just run round the corner singing.

"Shell be bumming round the mountain when she bums!" How lovely the youth of today are. Not.

Libby stopped when she saw me and shouted "DAVE! My Davey boy!" And she ran at me straight into my crotch.

One second later

Ouch! Females will never understand this pain.

"Libby come on I think Gordy is back..." she looked up at me "Oh." I shrugged my shoulders at her and she looked at me. Her eyes were all read and puffy. I walked towards her and held me arms out but Georgia just looked at me and stayed still.

"Georgia? I didn't do anything with Rachel." She turned around.

"I really want to believe that Dave but how do I know?" After chasing her for so many years you would think she would realise that infact I would never do anything to hurt her.

"Do you think I did it Gee?" I asked, she shook her head.

"No." She said it really quiet in a little mouse voice. "But if you didn't why would Rollo say anything?" Because he is a prat of the first waters maybe. I should probably tell Gee what I know but that means Jools will have to find out and I don't want anyone to get hurt. No Dave you must do what is right.

"I err caught him with Rachel and they were not playing scrabble." Her mouth turned into o shape.

"What Rollo cheated on Jools?" And she ran off, leaving me with Libby. Libby waddled up to me and said. "Davey I did an accident!" I picked her up and ran all the way to Gee's house. Connie answered the door she was all grinning and cheerful.

"Yo Dave! Hows it digging." Oh the joys of the elderly insane. I said

"Hi I come baring an extremely soggy child." Libby was grinning right in front of my face. It was quite scary actually. Connie took Libby off me and invited me in. I figured it would be best to wait for Gee to come back. And hope to little baby Jesus that she is alright.

Half an hour later.

Georgia is still not home and I am getting tired of listening to her mum trying to be cool. I am usually a light hearted and sensitive chap but the tensionosity is killing me.

"So Dave How's it going with Georgia?" Err well currently I'm not sure about that. I said

"Its you know a bit well yeah." Oh my God I am an Ellen. I am infact the male version of Ellen, I am dither king. I was just pondering this when Gee walked in. I stood up and raised my shoulders at her, she raised them back and we went to her room.

"So where did you go?"

"To see Jools. I think she is beyond the valley of the sadness. Oh and she said to say she was vair sorry about shouting at you."Yes well I should hope so to.

"Right well yeah. So we are ok now Kittycat?"

"More than ok Dave. We are beyond ok. We are infact marvy and brilliant" She grinned and then snogged me. And it was a vair good snog. So everything's back to normal.

**The end. Aaaww I just had to end it nicely. Becky xx Review please.**


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